Saturday, 8 June 2013

"Under Maintenance" and first mobile post.

Alright m'lovelies, don't expect this to be a particularly long post, as the title suggests this is being done through my phone and I despise trying to type on phones, it takes me foreverrrr.

SO! I should begin by saying my laptop is broke. Again. Ironically in the exact same fuckin' way that it broke at almost exactly this time last year. Hmm.T-T Soooo the Brighton/London post is delayed until its fixed, but I'm really going to try to get it fixed ASAP because that post neeeeeds done, and I have other posts to do including a review of the ever wonderful Tragic Beautiful.:) You should go check them out now anyway.:3

So unto the other part of the title mean? Under maintenance doesn't refer to my blog layout, but rather, to myself.

Yes, it is that time again. My self confidence has disintegrated into nothing and it wreaks havoc on my everyday life and ends up effecting deeper things than "Wahh I feel ugly." For a lot of people, self improvement must begin from the inside out, but I guess for me it's kinda the opposite. It doesn't mean I'm shallow, I just feel vastly better when I'm comfortable and confident about how I look.

For instance, today was not a good day. A number of things had me feeling upset and anxious and we went into town to get some stuff and I spent 90% of the time feeling like I was going to have a break down. I can't really describe it, if I feel all dressed up and think my make-up and hair etc looks nice, I can shrug off the stares, block them out, enjoy my day and strut around feeling like the queen of the world.

If I feel ugly/fat/boring etc etc, I notice every strange look, every whisper, every blatantly obvious nudge to their friends and it makes me really freak out and I basically just try to melt away into myself. Not good at all.

So it's time to try to make myself feel better. I'm going to be making a really lovely set of new dreads as soon as I can afford it (which I really hope is soon) but in the meantime I'm putting my most recent set back in because right now I just don't feel happy with my normal hair. I feel so plain.x_x Very excited for the new dreads though.

I stopped taking my antibiotics for a while and I need to start again because I'm a wee bit spotty and that doesn't do good for the ol' confidence.

I got a whole new set of piercing jewellery today because I got bored of black so I'm going back to silver for a little while.:) It's nothing hugely exciting but I want to get some fancier stuff at some point.:3

I also spotted a pair of ear tunnels that a) perfectly match the colour scheme of my new dreads, b) were on sale less than half price and c) the size my ears were before I let them close down. So I took it as a sign and bought them to motivate me to stretch my ears again!:3

I also need to start working out way more so I can get all thin and toned and wear cute belly tops and get my belly button pierced again.:D 

Also going to gut out my bedroom/wardrobes/drawers and everywhere else I have clothes in this house. Need to organise stuff, find some long lost/forgotten clothes, put together some cute outfits. I'd love to put a bunch of stuff on eBay but I can never bring myself to give anything away. 

Any who, those are a few things I'ma try to start with. There's way more but my hand is cramping up, so that'll do for now!

Blah blah blah vanity, eh?:P Oh well, hopefully someone out there enjoyed reading it regardless.^_^ 

Bye lovelies.<3 I'll leave a handful of recent pictures. Btw, my Instagram is xToxicTears :)




3 comments:

  1. I'm sorry that you're feeling all crappy. I really hope that you can pick yourself up soon :D
    I LOVE your hat!
    x<3

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have find your eyes beautiful in all your posts. Those look really pretty with different coloured contacts.

    ReplyDelete