Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Throw Back Photo Dump: Gothic Graveyard Shoot

Woahh, a blog post!? Bet you nearly died of shock! Unfortunately its not anything recent or super bloggy (but I may have some projects coming up in 2015 that will see me back here far more often hint hint)

For today, I'm doing a photodump of an old shoot I did, because I noticed I don't really have all the pictures in the same place.:) I thiiink this was either 2011 or 2012. Some photos I still love, some just seem plain awful now, but I figured I'd include them all! More under the cut.:D

Thursday, 3 October 2013

I miss blogging!T_T

So, this is my attempt at a little update. I did have my laptop back briefly in June, only for it to break almost immediately again.T-T and I still haven't had a chance to get it fixed, which is horrible.D; So, since my last update a whole tonne of stuff has been going on! I had a pretty fun summer, some nice days out and fun parties and stuff.:3 Went down to Dublin last month for a shoot with Melissa Hayward and Baz Black, as well as a fantastic photography team, so that was super fun.:3 Can't post the pictures yet, but I have this little preview shot ^_^

And I went down to Dublin again recently with my mum to see Rodger Waters perform The Wall live, which was AMAZING by the way, can't even begin to describe it, ugh, so good! That was also the day I introduced my mum to bubble tea and got her hooked haha!

And, shock of all shocks, I got a job! Was so unhappy about it at first but I've settled in better now and a lot of time it's quite slow, so I get to just sit around scrolling through tumblr, so now that I've got used to it I've chilled out a bit and don't mind it so much.

It helps that I got my first pay check on Saturday.;D And Jake got paid on the same day. Neither of us were meant to be paid until Monday, but it came through early, so when I got out of work at 2, we immediately headed into town and did a tonne of shopping.:D Got all sorts of nice things, including an ipad!:D Which is how I'm writing this post.:3 And then I got home and did a bunch of online shopping.^_^ Tuesday was a super fun day. Went to get my hair done (had the undercut outgrowth cornrowed back, it's a super annoying length right now) although the girl was running late so I had two hours to kill. So I went and got the 4G issue with my ipad fixed, then went shopping. Bought a super pretty striped bag and a new dress and a huge cosy jumper.:3 Then I went to my usual bubble tea place but since it was a super cold miserable day I got a hot chocolate with a shot of rose syrup and marshmallows (it tasted like Turkish delight and was AMAZING) then I went to my hair appointment. Then I came home to find a bunch of packages waiting which always makes me super happy.

Wednesday was also delightful. I thought I'd just spend a day relaxing, and I did for the first while of the day, got some more packages including Jake's giant ass TV, then got dressed and headed out with my mum for bubble tea, and after that we headed to Boojum and got tacos.OwO It was a really fun giggly day.:3

 So I'm having fun. A bunch of us are going out for sushi at the weekend too which is lovely because its been a while. 

So that's a very brief update of what's been going on the past month, I'll just add a bunch of pictures now.^_^ Remember, I have Instagram which is updated basically daily, so check it out.:3 Username is xToxicTears.

These are from a really fun day out in Bangor in the summer.^_^

^ LOL at my face.

Saturday, 8 June 2013

"Under Maintenance" and first mobile post.

Alright m'lovelies, don't expect this to be a particularly long post, as the title suggests this is being done through my phone and I despise trying to type on phones, it takes me foreverrrr.

SO! I should begin by saying my laptop is broke. Again. Ironically in the exact same fuckin' way that it broke at almost exactly this time last year. Hmm.T-T Soooo the Brighton/London post is delayed until its fixed, but I'm really going to try to get it fixed ASAP because that post neeeeeds done, and I have other posts to do including a review of the ever wonderful Tragic Beautiful.:) You should go check them out now anyway.:3

So unto the other part of the title mean? Under maintenance doesn't refer to my blog layout, but rather, to myself.

Yes, it is that time again. My self confidence has disintegrated into nothing and it wreaks havoc on my everyday life and ends up effecting deeper things than "Wahh I feel ugly." For a lot of people, self improvement must begin from the inside out, but I guess for me it's kinda the opposite. It doesn't mean I'm shallow, I just feel vastly better when I'm comfortable and confident about how I look.

For instance, today was not a good day. A number of things had me feeling upset and anxious and we went into town to get some stuff and I spent 90% of the time feeling like I was going to have a break down. I can't really describe it, if I feel all dressed up and think my make-up and hair etc looks nice, I can shrug off the stares, block them out, enjoy my day and strut around feeling like the queen of the world.

If I feel ugly/fat/boring etc etc, I notice every strange look, every whisper, every blatantly obvious nudge to their friends and it makes me really freak out and I basically just try to melt away into myself. Not good at all.

So it's time to try to make myself feel better. I'm going to be making a really lovely set of new dreads as soon as I can afford it (which I really hope is soon) but in the meantime I'm putting my most recent set back in because right now I just don't feel happy with my normal hair. I feel so plain.x_x Very excited for the new dreads though.

I stopped taking my antibiotics for a while and I need to start again because I'm a wee bit spotty and that doesn't do good for the ol' confidence.

I got a whole new set of piercing jewellery today because I got bored of black so I'm going back to silver for a little while.:) It's nothing hugely exciting but I want to get some fancier stuff at some point.:3

I also spotted a pair of ear tunnels that a) perfectly match the colour scheme of my new dreads, b) were on sale less than half price and c) the size my ears were before I let them close down. So I took it as a sign and bought them to motivate me to stretch my ears again!:3

I also need to start working out way more so I can get all thin and toned and wear cute belly tops and get my belly button pierced again.:D 

Also going to gut out my bedroom/wardrobes/drawers and everywhere else I have clothes in this house. Need to organise stuff, find some long lost/forgotten clothes, put together some cute outfits. I'd love to put a bunch of stuff on eBay but I can never bring myself to give anything away. 

Any who, those are a few things I'ma try to start with. There's way more but my hand is cramping up, so that'll do for now!

Blah blah blah vanity, eh?:P Oh well, hopefully someone out there enjoyed reading it regardless.^_^ 

Bye lovelies.<3 I'll leave a handful of recent pictures. Btw, my Instagram is xToxicTears :)

Wednesday, 5 June 2013

Lordi and Devin Townsend

Didn't even zoom my camera in, he was actually that close.:P

*Warning, I looked utterly awful on the night of Lordi and the few pictures of me from it are some of the least flattering pictures I've ever taken.T_T -Sob-*

So, this happened back at the start of May, a few days before we were meant to leave for Brighton. I was determined to save money for England since for the past month we'd been doing a pretty awful job of that by going out to eat every day and buying too much stuff.

But then, I found out that Lordi was playing. .__. And obviously, theres not a hope in hell I was going to pass that up. SO off we went and bought tickets two days before the show, which was on Saturday. And of course while we were in, we went and had bubble tea.:3 Which I believe I posted about.^-^

Anywho, Friday came and I was casually scrolling through facebook only to see someone mention that The Devin Townsend Project was playing on Sunday.. You can probably see where this is going.

The Venga Boys were also playing on Sunday and every inch of me wanted to go see them, but no one would come with me, and I was heart broken.

So, Saturday, the day of Lordi came. We went into town and met up with two friends, but the first stop was ticket master. Yeeeep, Devin Townsend Tickets. WHOOPS.:P

After that we all went for bubble tea, and our friends had never had it before so that was a new experience haha. I actually ended up getting two bubble teas because I asked the girl if she could make a strawberry and rose one with strawberry and lychee pobbles and it was so good I needed another one. Also had a sandwich.

I was doing a creepy smile so I tried to block it out. I don't think this is any less creepy. Also, my hand looks like it weighs about 40lbs. Wtf, random fat hand..D:
After a while we had to leave because we had to get ready for the show. Our friend gave us a lift. Turned out, having two bubble teas was a horrible idea because I started feeling very very sick on the way back. Got home, immediately walked to the bathroom and vomited up pink goo. Delightful.

After my goo vomiting. 

Thursday, 30 May 2013

3 year anniversaryyy

Doing this now before I forget because I also have like two other huge posts backed up SO I'm just going to make this a short little one with some pictures.^_^

For me and Jake's 3 year anniversary we went to our favourite ever restaurant, Sakura. It was utterly delightful and we ended up spending wayyyy too much money, but its fine because lots of delicious sushi and fruity non-alcoholic cocktails were had, as well as a generally wonderful day.^O^ Pictures~

Potato face.

Yum yum. Most of the food was devoured before I could be that annoying person taking pictures of their food, but oh well.:P

Not a huge post but it was a lovely day and needed some mention!:3 Eurgh, now onto the other 3+ entries I have backed up.x-x Wish me luck~

Friday, 3 May 2013

Another wonderful two weeks!

Monday's Face/Make-up

Whoops~ Totally meant to write this on Sunday but a few things annoyed me, pair that with my hormones suddenly doing a massive whoosh and you have me in one awful mood never wanting to do anything again haha. And I've been getting distracted between then and now. Like, I started writing this on Monday, right now its Thursday and I'm still only on the "monday" section of the post.XD

But I'm feeling pretty good so I may get this done now, although I don't think this week will be as busy as the past few because I've already been spending too much money and I go to London in a week and a half so I better cut it out.x-x lol (This section isn't even relevant anymore because I just went and bought Lordi tickets, WHOOPS, so much for not spending money bahaha)

SO. We'll start with:

Monday. We headed in because I wanted to get the new MAC NW10 because its so much nicer than the NC15. After that we'd planned on going to a little Korean cafe for lunch but after having a quick look at the menu outside we didn't actually see very much we were interested in, and since we were in the area we decided to just go to Sakura again instead since its been my favourite restaurant since I was 14.:3 (I totally just realised I haven't done the three year anniversary post yet, I'll do it tomorrow but for the record we went to sakura for that too)

ANYWHO, we sat down and a waitress we hadn't really met before came over to serve us, but the waitress we'd had the last time we were in (who was hilarious and absolutely lovely) spotted us and came straight over and ended up kinda taking over which I found really amusing. I think I'm always going to try to go in when either her or our other friend is working because shes just great.


As usual the food was utterly delicious and it was very hard not to just spend like £50+ again but we kept an eye on it this time around haha.

After that we headed out and I wanted to go to the Asian Market we'd never been to before to get some Pocky so we headed there. Turns out you couldn't pay by card unless you spent £10 or more, so this happened:

(Also that multipack happens to contain squeezy versions of one of my favourite things ever and I squealed with joy when I saw them)
I forgot to take a picture of my outfit which sucked because I really liked it.T^T But I'll wear it another time.:)

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Monday, 22 April 2013


>>>(+20 MORE)<<<

Busy busy week!

The dreads are back!

Eek, if I don't update now I don't know when I'll get a chance! Last week was pretty damn busy and it looks like this week will be the same, I'm already booked up until Wednesday and Saturday/Sunday, and no doubt I'll end up finding something I need to do on Thursday and Friday too.x-x

I love it though. I did literally nothing all winter and it was wreaking havoc on my moods, now that I have stuff to do I'm feeling much better.:)

So, where to begin? The start of the week wasn't too bad, so I'll start there.

Monday was the one day where I didn't really have to do anything at all, so I just pottered around taking silly pictures (I just know how much you all LOVE face spam.;D Haha sorry Anon!;P) and relaxing up in my attic, which I hadn't done in a loooong time. So it was a very chilled out day, nothing to report.:3

Tuesday was terrible.x__x Pretty much everything that could have went wrong, went wrong, so Jake was in an absolutely terrible mood. Luckily, I am in fact Super Woman and managed to sort out basically everything, so the grumpy moods didn't carry into the next day. Yes, I am a genius~

Wednesday definitely made up for Tuesday, because it was awesome.TwT We headed into town to meet a guy from Malaysia who also speaks Chinese and Japanese because we're interested in Japanese lessons, and it turns out we won't even really need them, so instead we can just self teach at home then meet up with him every now and again and chat to him (in Japanese where possible) and he can correct us and help us out, and he told us Northern Ireland actually has its own little Japan Society group type thing, so we're going to look into that.^_^ I was really surprised haha.O-O So we sat chatting with him for a while (and I had possibly the worst hot chocolate I've had in my life, they didn't even get the order right.x-x) and it was lovely, hes a really nice friendly guy.:3 He looked kinda surprised when we came and sat down because he didn't know what we look like and people never really expect, well, me bahaha.

After that we parted ways and headed back down into town. We were just going to go home but the line for the bus was like a mile long and I was so not up for squeezing onto a tiny bus with a bunch of gross sweaty chavs, so we walked around for a while to see what was open. Everything in Belfast closes at like 5 or 6, but Victoria Square stays open later so we went to a cafe in there and had paninis and muffins haha~ Then we eventually went home and when I got back I found out I'd won lunch for two in a place in town that I really love.>:D So over all it was a great day haha~

Saturday, 20 April 2013


Terrible phone picture complete with chubby bunny cheeks.:P

 Hoorah, just this post then one more, and I'm all caught up and properly up to date.:3

SO, Easter was super mega fun. As usual, my mum put up with the fact I am really about 5 years old for our annual easter fun.:D

So first we headed up to my nanny's house and had a "picnic" in the back garden, since thanks to the crazy weather mood-swings everywhere was snowy and wouldn't have been much good for picnicing. Lots of tasty food = Very happy Kaya.-w- Especially when it was a bunch of my favourites, and some awesome stuff I'd never tried and I got to take all the left overs home and feasted on them for ages bwaha~

Picnic food on my SWEET Hunchback of Notre Dame plate I've had since always. I'd actually been telling Jake about it like three days before this haha.

After that we headed up a big hill/mountain foresty place until we got to the right spot, because it was EGG HUNTIN' TIME. Jake and I headed off for a walk with my nanny's tiny fat little dog who really wasn't amused by all the hiking, so that my mum could hide the eggs (and I wish I'd been there to see that, because thanks to the snow and everything she slipped and fell about a hundred times and was covered in mud by the time we returned)